Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Hey Scientists, The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side!

(Join the free market! What are you so scared of?)

 Hello, I am a scientist outraged by Harpers recent cuts: here is my story.

I am really angry that Harper and his environment-killing, lap-dog-minions are putting the kibosh to everything sacred in our field.  There is a direct correlation between Harper cutting funding and not caring about science and the environment.  Does Harper not know how essential and valuable our services are? Let me explain: they are VERY valuable.   Our services and problem solving abilities are so essential that we cannot get paid by the free market.   Wait a minute, that did not come out right. Consider this: we need our services paid for by the good taxpayers because the free market stupidly fails to recognize our value, but it’s there! Trust me!   There, that’s better.  You see, here’s the problem;  we feel we are exempt from the principles of the free market choosing what we research and how much we get paid because our mandate is ‘noble’, ‘just’ and ‘universal’.  This cause transcends the call on ordinary hard working Canadians who simply ‘earn their wage’ based on performance.

Please note that we have no bloody intention of debating the issue of whether or not our department work is even something that should be private or public.  Our moral cause makes that debate meaningless and non-existent.  We presume and declare that our work is ‘government paid’ and therefore make a declarative statement that any ‘cuts’ are immoral, evil and you guessed it, environment hating.  For if we lost such a debate and were convinced our problem solving should be paid for by the free market, then we would have nothing to do but possibly take a pay cut and not do what we love.  The country would suffer.  If you have not noticed, we are marching because we are owed a living by the good taxpayers of this country. 

One knuckle head asked me, “If your services and problem solving abilities are ‘so good for Canadians’ then why don’t you make more money in the free market and let supply and demand drive your ideas, pay and abilities to the ends they deserve?”.  I almost clocked that bugger.  He is ignorant and does not know the issues; it’s guys like this that are dangerous to the country and I told him so.  Then he had the nerve to mouth off, “Listen Mr. Scientist, the very principle I asked you to subscribe to is the very principle that millions of Canadians are working hard trying to develop and figure out, get off your high horse and join us!”.    Does he have any idea how stupid he sounds?  Bloody wingnuts!  “Caring is primarily done through government sponsored initiatives.  Once cuts are made, caring stops!   These bloody right wingers who think caring and problem solving can be  better done in the free market ought to give their heads a shake.

I get so angry when I have to defend myself like this because I know I am right.   

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